Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Early morning ramblings...

Mom said it's because of the anesthetics I had the other that cause me hunger all the time. wonder I keep feels hungry every time I woke up-practically, I'll eat every two hours! So much food and there is no surprise if I put on weight. Gotta control my appetite more!

On the other hand, I miss my younger sisters, especially the youngest one. She took care of me during the school break. At the age of barely 16 years old, she's patiently care for me. She'll woke up in the middle of the night after I called her for food. Or will go "haaaa...where are you going haaa?" if she heard I try to get off the bed. In Malay, it's like "haaa...nak g mana haa?" Isn't she's funny? I need to get her approval for pee? Are you joking me? It's not gonna happen that way..

Being alone at your lowest point of life is not advisable. You tend to get yourself mellow and down. Surround yourself with your loved one. I understand about everyone's commitment, but there's no harm in asking for a good company.

I stay with my sister in Bangi. My parents are in Johor. Yes, I come from Johor-Mersing. It's about 6hours drive from my current location. Mom went home the day after my 2nd check up, about a week ago. Dad was home way before. Sometime I wish that they didn't renovate the house. Oh, they renovate the house way before they knew about my illness. Just that I don't understand why they have to choose their house over me? Ok, that's their 'house'. But I'm their daughter. I need all support with me now. I know for a fact that they'll be bored if the stay here.

But, I have not much time. With darling partner in Singapore, there's not much I have here. I wish that everyone resolved their problem among them and not jeopardizing my situation before it become worst. Hmmmmmm.... I'm down after read the fact about my type of tumor. On average, any survivor will have 6-8 years to live. Maybe I interpret the article wrongly. But, anyone who read that for the first of time will 'sentap'. What can you do in that short of time? My bell rang earlier than yours. Am going to take a different route afterwards and you can enjoy the bus ride and your journey still. I thought after my Dr. removed them, I'll have more time or things going to get better after I fully recover. Seems it's not going that way.

But, I can't lose hope right? Who's going to take care of my parents? My younger sisters? My partner? Who will bring them for nice&cosy food? Man, there's a lot more I want to do with them and for them! I've been in school for donkey years! 2years-kindy, 6years-elementary,5years-high school,1year-matriculation,3years-first degree, and another 3years-masters degree. That's about 20 years out of 27? Phewww... No wonder my brain said we need a BREAK!!! HAHAHA... It's getting tougher now. I need to keep swimming like Nemo...

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